If I Only Knew Where It Hurts, Bidean nam Bian

[Joehill]

Standing by Loch Achtriochtan

So beautiful that it hurts…

And why does it hurt?

Because it is only for a day…

And where does it hurt?

…

I ran by Loch Achtriochtan and in the morning light, with the Pass of Glencoe as background, it was almost too beautiful to comprehend. A father and his son took some selfies by the loch in a seemingly short, but happy, stop along A82. These moments come and go...

Entering The Lost Valley

After passing through the narrow pass covered by different vegetation, and shaped by streams and waterfalls that flow and fall between large boulders and cliffs, I reached the lost valley and it struck me again. Like a punch to the stomach, or like the weight of the two grand Munros in the distance pressed against my heart – Knowing that it is all brief.

But again, where does it hurts?

In the Clouds on Bidean nam Bian

I had a really bad feeling going up on bealach Dearg, it might have been because I had nothing but running shoes and thin clothes on me, and that there were more snow on the ground than I had expected. It might have been because I was further away from home than usual, and that although easy to climb the last bit up on the bealach is pretty steep. It might have been all these physical factors that I must have perceived as a disadvantage... But I also think that it was my failure to understand the grandness of these mountains on this beautiful day that drained my confidence away.

In this sense walking in low visibility, not seeing the peaks in front of you and the drops down the sides, makes it easier. Smaller tasks I can perform with confidence, but larger tasks less so… Greater beauty, the magnificent scale of things less so…


Looking Back at Bidean nam Bian from Stob Coire Sgreamhach

Still I try to understand, and maybe I do to some extent, although there is one missing piece...

If I only knew where it hurts