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Assynt, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Jaxter-Bang! Its continuing mission to explore strange new mountains, to seek out new scrambling routes and summit camp spots, to boldly go where no Walkhighlander has gone before…well, in the one epic weekend that is
!!
Day 1 – Friday 3rd June Star date…somewhere in the future, or was it the past..bloody hyperspace travel
!!! Our intrepid space explorers on this mission are Captain Bang of the Dooter Colony Zone 4 and Cadet Jaxter recently escaped from Area 51
First Mission objective…traverse of Torridon Giant, the Mighty Liathach! Vango space pod successfully docked at the base of Liathach at 23.00 hours on Friday.
Day 2 – Saturday 4th JuneArose from sleep chamber 0600 hours on Saturday. Booted and suited in Star-fleet uniform 0630 hours, the mission was underway…all systems are go!
On reaching the ridge, our first impressions gave us no evidence of life forms; population appears to be zero…although intelligence reports suggested that there could be a pair of cyberpunks in the vicinity, The Scoob and The Fi. Scoob was a protoype skilled in Go Pro equipment, it was unclear if Scoob and Fi had yet crossed over to the darkside
On initial inspection, the ridge appeared to be impassable, however Captain Bang (having gathered vital route-finding information on a previous solo mission) assured Cadet Jaxter that the traverse was in fact possible as no meteor showers had been forecast!
Our intrepid explorers set forth West clambering over large space rocks, thankful that their top of the range super-light space boots had an artificial gravity feature preventing accidental space walks
On reaching our first objective, Spidean a’ Choire Leith, we updated our log with the following images.
Am Fasarinen lay ahead, a towering mass of rocky pinnacles with no apparent route across other than a treacherous looking bypass path. Mission Control advised that the best plan was to tackle the pinnacles head on
, so our fearless duo boldly took their first steps into the unknown.
Route-finding was slow and methodical, but using Vulcan logic, the traverse was made successfully.
The Second objective of Mullach an Rathain was reached with relative ease. Here refueling was underway, vital for the steep scree descent back to ground level.
On arrival, we discovered that we were 2 miles away from our space pod. Our moon boots were inadequate to handle the flat smooth surface of the planet floor. Fortunately, a passing alien on his way home from the Star Wars bar (Mos Eisley Cantina to locals) was able to assist us in our plight.
When we returned to our space pod, a secondary mission was waiting for us. We were to make our way to a place most space explorers can only dream of! Yes, Assynt! A lunar landscape like no other in this vast sprawling universe.
Our explorers were elated, almost manic, but maintained a professional cool
. We firstly stopped at Torridon for a compressed meteor shower, the new rapid way of self-cleansing, as well as slipping into something more comfortable for the journey north.
Our coordinates were not set entirely correctly, so we docked briefly at Grunaird Bay to establish our continued route. Grunaird Bay is an idyllic spot with a beautiful sweep of golden sand surrounded by deep turquoise-blue water.
Time was against our team, so they pushed on swiftly in an effort to reach the days Final Frontier, the Ben More Coigach Ridge. Full space pod gear would be carried as our explorers would be setting base high up above the clouds on a satellite summit west of the ridge.
BMC had an unexplained force field which defied the laws of physics. Bang and Jaxter would have to show plenty steel to exterminate it and reach the ridge.
Using the latest micro technology; Bang and Jaxter used the compact light sabres to cut through the force field and reach the ridge proper and onto the summit of BMC.
On the summit of BMC the second target was in clear view, we pounded up it like a pair of cyborgs!
On reaching the pointy summit the panoramic vista of Assynt lay before us. Mesmerized, and rooted to the spot, we could only look on in sheer wonderment…the old tales from Mountainstar and Monty appeared to be true
With just one of the seven suns still orbiting the earth and light fading fast we had to find a spot swiftly to set up our space pod.
This spot would also provide enough space for a cosmic disco as the last sun set
Cosmic Raving – Cadet Jaxter utilizing the Compact Light Sabres
Shape shifting cosmic moves
As Andromeda, the final sun, set we gazed in awe using our super special specs which provided x-ray vision
Our favourite galactic band, The Boards of Canada, resonating sound waves through the air frequencies and creating its own unique atmosphere
.
Cadet Jaxter sampling the new improved Proton Bru Synapse Enhancer…appears to be hitting the spot
Day 3 - Sunday 5th JuneSunset
Not much sleep was had due to the excitement of the mission’s position, so it was an early rise at 04.00 hours to catch the first rising sun…cloud base sitting at 500m.
After witnessing the miraculous sunrise we packed up our gear and descended off the ridge and back to our space mobile. Data had been collected as requested from mission control so we had time to relax, let loose, and go source out some big rock
The ubertatsic Stac Pollaidh, a creative concept from “Scotty” our chief engineer, would be our adult playground for a few nano seconds (4 earth hours in real terms).
Having the privilege of being the first space explorers to try out this orgasmic new concept really sent us wild with anticipation, however we knew things could go wrong…but Scotty was standing by to beam us up if any malfunctions occurred
Stac Pollaidh
Cadet Jaxter had yet to experience such rock but her hands on approach fared well and impressed Captain Bang.
Cadet Jaxter only required assistance when making the tricky complex move to the Western Summit. It was worth all the effort…
Down of Stac Pollaidh and back at the space mobile we contacted mission control expecting to be beamed up to the Starship Jaxter-Bang, however Commander Kirk was so impressed by our successful mission that he granted us some free time on outpost Achmelvich which had a golden sanded secluded beach.
Quickly transported we landed on the beach…utopia
Time passed quicker than a shooting star and soon we were back in our space mobile heading for the Jaxter-Bang. An almighty shudder rocked our vehicle, one of our propulsion chambers had exploded (these used to be tyres on that old form of transport, the car). Cadet Jaxter never flinched and quickly pulled out a spare chamber from the holding area and replaced it!
Captain Bang was so impressed by Cadet Jaxter that he promoted her instantly to first officer.
Back aboard the Starship Jaxter-Bang the word was that Captain Bang had lost his edge and was about to hang up his glow sticks, but based on this performance that was light-years away
Till our next mission impossible, possibly Monar! Continuing to boldly go where no Walkhighlander has gone before! The continuing adventures of the Starhip Jaxter-Bang
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